This one is mostly self-indulgent. I'm always trying to explain to people what BPD is, how it affects me, and the difference between "classic" vs. "quiet" BPD. These are my thoughts. When I was eleven, I left my favourite sweatshirt on a bus in New York City. When I discovered it missing, I was distraught.… Continue reading Borderline
My little sister is in Italy right now. Most of my friends have full-time jobs and/or are in serious, committed relationships. One of them is in nursing school. One is a dental hygienist. One has a Ph.D. I just took two weeks off from my 9-hour-a-week job due to severe anxiety. I'm receiving PWD and… Continue reading Muted
I just wrote an exam. I won't have my score for a few weeks, but I know I did well. It was one of those times when writing the test is fun because every question is a challenge to prove how smart you are and you win. So, right now, I feel confident. I feel… Continue reading This is why.
You know the song, "How Far I'll Go" from the Disney movie Moana? (If you don't, here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPAbx5kgCJo.) I'm listening to it on repeat today. Not the way you half-listen to a song while going about the business of your day, but listening to it, like my life depends on it. I've mentioned that I… Continue reading “See the light as it shines”
That's what I said to my sister when she told me Mom was asking about how my day went. "Tell Mom today was good." Because it was. I woke up this morning and ate breakfast and put makeup on and walked to the clinic where I work as a transcriptionist. I sat at my desk… Continue reading Tell Mom today was good.
Confession: I hate recovery. It’s hard. And scary. And hard. Before I can explain why, I need to tell you a bit about what I’m recovering from. “Mental illness” is an expansive term, and even when I break it into words like “depression”, “anxiety” and “BPD”, the picture is vague. So here are the broad strokes… Continue reading On Recovery
Because I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't make resolutions, period. Maybe I'm cynical but in my experience, if something requires the title, "resolution" to goad me into doing it, it's not going to happen no matter what time of year I begin or what I choose to call it. So this is not… Continue reading This is not a New Year’s Resolution.